Re: Cheating Destiny (book excerpt)
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Posted by Marie on 17:10:25 2006/07/10
In Reply to:
Re: Cheating Destiny (book excerpt) posted by klausen
For 20 years I've been in pain and suffered some rather strange symptoms. Three weeks ago my neurologist finally figured out why. For some strange reason my body has decided that my peripheral nerves must die. I've already lost some of my leg function forever and my left arm is next. We have no idea how long it's going to take, but eventually I'll be in a wheelchair on a permanent basis.
And it sucks. I hate the stutter that has developed in the last year. I hate that the shaking has stopped me from cross stitching. I hate that I'm too weak to lift a board or hang dry-wall. (and sometimes not even a coffee cup ) I hate that it takes so much effort to type a stupid email.
But I'm not allowing this "thing" to ruin my life. If anything, it makes my life more precious to me and I appreciate the things that I *can* do all the more. Yes, my life is worth living. Yes, I'm glad that I was born.
To paraphrase what my son said about his own condition; "People want to abort babies because they might get diabetes and it's inconvenient? Well *life* is inconvenient. This is just one more thing." (Later he did say that he was happy to be a diabetic and not have what *I* have.)
Klausen, everyone has something to deal with. It's just another part of *life*, just like eating, paying taxes, registering a car, taking a bath every day, drinking water, taking pills, etc. It doesn't have to be the focus of your life. My mom takes Dilantin every day to keep seizures at bay. If she misses a dose she has about 10 hours before she's smashing her head into a sink or crashing a car. So she takes her Dilantin. And she still has break-through seizures to deal with. (and Grave's disease.)
When my son was first diagnosed, I told him that he was going to have to live with diabetes for his whole life. I then told him to *live* with diabetes. Live a full and rich life; just add a few extra steps before meals and bed.
We're all going to die and death is rarely pretty, fast, or easy. Or predictable. I've known a few diabetics who have died. None of them have died from diabetes or from any symptoms related to diabetes. A diabetic may end up in a wheelchair? When I announced to my children that I was getting a wheelchair my daughter said, "Don't worry mom! We'll pimp it out for ya!" (I'm determined to make this gimp-thing look good.)
It's all about one's approach to life. Do you accept inconvenience or resent it? When you hit a bump in the road do you step over it or do stop and try to smooth it out? Are you going to fear a possible out-come that may or may not happen or enjoy what you do have and thank God that you have one more opportunity to be a better person *today*?
Life is unpredictable, sometimes painful, interesting, and well worth living even if it's short and you're doing it without legs. (Or; as in my case; legs, an arm, sometimes speech, the ability to sit without assistance and in constant pain )
Yes, I want grandchildren and I pray that my son comes to know the joys of fatherhood. We'll deal with the "bumps" as they come. I don't want him to allow fear to stop him from living in every sense of the word.
Now I'm going to go lean on my lawn mower and try to make some progress on this field we call a yard. (the kids will even it out) It's a pain in the ass, but it has to be done.
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